Where the Hell is Everyone?

Today I did not want to get out of bed.

I did not want to put on my shoes.

I did not want to go outside.

I went for a run anyway.

This isn't brand promotion or me trying to sell you something. Right now, sales are slow. I'm sitting here staring at lackluster numbers.

I've started writing these posts mainly for myself. They hold me accountable and give me one concrete thing I can do every day — regardless of everything else going on around me. Writing these is in my control. And as I step out into the unknown, again and again, it's good to have something you show up for.

The hardest thing so far about starting a business — or anything new — is the unknown. We all deal with it at points in our lives, and it's always scary as hell. We know these are only seasons, that they too shall pass. But evolution has wired us to seek comfort in these moments. To go back to old ways, old habits, old faces.

This morning I left my phone, watch, and keys at home. I just took off out the door and put one foot in front of the other. The further I went, the more I noticed nobody was around. It was me and nature. Nobody pinging my phone. No watch tracking my pace. Nobody to call if I came face to face with the bear I seemed to be following (yes, I saw a lot of bear poop today).

There was nothing holding me accountable. Nobody pushing me forward. No time constraint. And my brain filled the silence with questions. Am I going fast enough? Same trail as usual, or switch it up? Will I feel better after this? Why am I even doing this?

With nobody around telling me how fast, how hard, how much to push — I started to feel lost.

For as long as I can remember, someone has been measuring my life. Grades, awards, points scored.

But now there's no scoreboard. Nobody telling me how fast I should do something.

It's just me and the wide open.

Me, and nobody around to tell me how it should be done.

Did I stop? Nope. I kept running.

Why? I like running.